The Fear Nobody Talks About: Returning to Skydiving After Time Away

(Written by ChutingStar's Henry Kochen.)

There is a conversation that happens at almost every drop zone, but rarely out loud. A skydiver walks in after weeks, or even months, away from the sport. They smile, catch up with friends, check the weather, and start putting on their gear.

On the outside, everything looks normal. On the inside, they're wondering: "Why am I so nervous?" Or even worse… "Do I even like skydiving anymore?"

If you've ever had those thoughts, you're not alone. In fact, I would argue that nearly every experienced skydiver has experienced them at some point. The difference is that most don't talk about it because there's an unspoken expectation that experience should eliminate fear. It doesn't.

Fear Doesn't Disappear, It Changes
When we're students, our fear is obvious. We're afraid of leaving the airplane. We're afraid of making mistakes. We're afraid of the unknown. As we gain experience, those fears evolve. We become more comfortable with freefall and canopy flight, but we also gain something else: perspective.

We understand the risks better. We've seen close calls. We've heard accident reports. We've watched friends get hurt. We know that skydiving deserves respect. After taking time away from the sport, all those thoughts can become louder than the excitement that first drew us into skydiving. That isn't weakness. It's part of being human.

The Mind Can Be Your Biggest Obstacle
A friend recently sent me a message that perfectly described this feeling. They explained that every time they went a little too long without jumping, it became harder to come back. Weather delays, busy schedules, or simply not having anyone to jump with slowly turned into self-doubt. Eventually they started asking themselves whether they even enjoyed skydiving anymore.

I smiled when I read it because I've had that exact conversation with myself. Sometimes the hardest part of a skydive isn't the exit. It's deciding to manifest for the first load. The longer we stay away, the more time our minds have to imagine everything that could go wrong.

Finding Purpose
A year ago, a dear friend was in that exact situation. Instead of forcing herself to "just make a jump," she found something that gave her a purpose. She started filming tandem skydives. Suddenly the attention wasn't centered on her own nervousness. She was focused on flying the camera, staying in position, avoiding the drogue, anticipating the deployment, and helping create an unforgettable experience for a first-time jumper.

Watching nervous students step outside the airplane was a reminder of something important. Courage isn't the absence of fear. It's choosing to move forward despite it. Ironically, encouraging them through their fear helped manage her own. The smiles she saw after landing reminded her why she fell in love with skydiving in the first place.

Purpose Can Quiet Fear
This doesn't mean everyone should become a tandem videographer. The lesson is much broader than that. Fear has a way of filling empty space. Purpose has a way of replacing it.

Maybe your purpose is:

• Improving your canopy skills.
• Working toward a new license or rating.
• Learning a new discipline.
• Coaching newer jumpers.
• Flying camera.
• Organizing safe, fun belly jumps.
• Or simply making one conservative hop-and-pop to get current again.

One student recently told me they planned to spend the day doing nothing but hop-and-pops until everything started feeling natural again. I thought that was a fantastic plan. There is absolutely nothing wrong with easing your way back into the sport. In fact, it's exactly what experienced skydivers should do.

Confidence Isn't Something You Wait For
Many jumpers tell themselves they'll go back once they "feel ready." The problem is that confidence rarely shows up before action. It usually comes after. After one jump. After one stable exit. After one smooth landing. Every successful skydive becomes another reminder that your skills are still there—they may simply need a little dust knocked off.

Let's Normalize This Conversation
I wish experienced jumpers talked about this more often. But ego gets in the way… We readily accept that students will be nervous. But when someone has hundreds or thousands of jumps, we somehow expect them to be immune to fear. That expectation isn't realistic.

Some of the safest, most respected skydivers I know still get butterflies after time away. They don't hide it. They acknowledge it. They take appropriate steps to get current again. They choose conservative jumps. They seek coaching when necessary. They build their confidence back one jump at a time. That's not insecurity. That's professionalism.

Respect The Sport, Respect Yourself
If you've been away from skydiving for a while and you're feeling nervous, don't beat yourself up. Don't mistake temporary hesitation for falling out of love with the sport. And don't feel pressured to jump at the same level you were before your break.

Take the smaller jump. Review your emergency procedures. Talk to an instructor or trusted friend. Make a solo if that's what you need. Do a hop-and-pop. Take a coach. Whatever helps you safely rebuild your confidence is the right approach. Because the goal isn't to prove that you're fearless. The goal is to become comfortable, current, and confident again.

I’m not looking for an applause, I’m here to tell you a story…
After being in this sport for about thirty years 6500+ jumps and a few stalling airplanes I still get the butterfly’s, until I get to leave the aircraft, then all is good! Skydiving has a funny way of reminding us of who we are. Sometimes all it takes is one jump to remember why we started.

The butterflies don't mean you don't belong. They don't mean you've lost your passion. Often, they simply mean that enough time has passed for your mind to forget what your heart already knows.

If this article resonates with you, I'd love to hear your story. Have you ever taken a break from skydiving and struggled to come back? What helped you rebuild your confidence? Your experience may be exactly what another skydiver needs to hear.

Henry Kochen (Skydiving Instructor, Rigger, and Gear Nerd at ChutingStar) has 4700+ jumps and is an FAA Senior Rigger, USPA Coach, USPA Tandem Instructor and Videographer. He joined the ChutingStar Crew in 2015. He can be contacted directly at [email protected].